My Single Change That Worked: How I Conquered After-Work Tension Via an Unexpected Find in the Loft

I frequently become as tense as a wound-up clock once the workday ends. Tension grips my shoulders, my breath turns fast and shallow. Usually, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut used to lead to the pop of a cork from a wine bottle, wine poured quickly into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Later, several months back, I came across my now-adult son’s old school recorder up in the loft. I idly blew into it, instantly reminded of the time it was the bane of my life – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head long after he slept.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I took it down, together with a beginner’s songbook. As a child, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I took recorder classes in primary school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Searching online for recorder tutorials, I viewed many kid-friendly YouTube clips, and got a fingering guide on paper. Looking up simple recorder songs, and was thrilled when I managed to knock out a passable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Admittedly, a typical young child could learn it quickly, yet for a stressed, impatient, musically-challenged adult, it seemed like a major triumph.

My son questioned my actions (and please could I stop), but I kept going – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. Forgetting notes easily forced me to focus on the music sheet, and painstakingly copy the finger positions. My breathing slowed down, I was focused, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I felt euphoric. I had managed to play music.

Today, after some months, I can handle other children’s songs and a decent Ode to Joy. Yes, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but to me, it’s not about skill or being a musician – it’s purely about the joy it provides and how it clears my mind while playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which probably relieves parents, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, and my son’s childhood.

I make it a habit to play each night after work before I do anything else, and during those 20 minutes, I am in my own little world. Afterward, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me that I was reducing stress, and boosting mental skills, such as memory and auditory processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.